My Best Friend's Wedding
by ilovedracomalfoy123
Summary: a short story about how Pansy feels when she attends Draco's wedding.   Pansy's Pov.  one shot


My Best Friend's Wedding

Pansy's Pov

The well known song is in the air and everybody stands up in anticipation. I stand up because everbody in the room does, I don't want to stand out from the crowd. She is visible now in the eyes of many, including mine. She walks down the isle with a bright smile while she wears a flawless, ivory, silk dress that falls down gracefully on the floor, her angelic face is hidden through a transparent floral vail. Each step is with precise measure but I just wish she would hurry up so this antagonizing moment could end.

I take my envious eyes off of her and set them back to the man Itruly love. He is standing perfectly still, but like her he is also smiling, a true genuine, meaningful smile, a smile that is beautiful, but not meant for me. His moonlight hair is slick back, just like the old days, he is wearing a tux, something his fiancee wanted him to wear, so he is. His eyes are nailed onto her and the same gesture goes for her. Their love for each other is stuck in the air and it suffocates me.

I breath heavily because she is so close now. She finally meets him and his smile widens, something I didn't think he was capable of doing. He stares at her with adoring, loving eyes, something that I wish he would do to me. I try with all my strength to stop starring at them, but I can't, so the pain just continues moving through me like sparks of wild fire. A fire that will never be put out, for it will burn inside of me till the rest of time.

My breath is stuck in my throat and the feeling burns through me like hell. I hold back the salt water, for if they slide down my cheeks I will reach further embarrassment. My ears are closed and I can't hear anything, something I don't know if I should appreciate or hate. My vision blurs but I hold my position, my heart suffers with convulsion, agony, despair, displeasure and a continueing torment. I feel as if I'm about to faint, unfortuanetly I don't but I want to.

It's completely ludicrous to wish for such a thing, but if I were to black out now I would be rushed to St. Mungos, and as far away from here as possible. The thought enlightens me. I swallow, then bite my tongue incredibly hard, drawing an unpleasant, metallic flavor on my palette, I hold my tongue because I am afraid that if I loose control I will scream that I object to this wedding. I pray someone will though but like many dreams I once had, this one is shattered like fragile glass as well. No one objects and the world feels like it stopped rotating.

He leans in with a tender gentleness, something completely foreign in my eyes, she leans in as well and their lips meet. I feel my heart instantly break, but I thought it was already broken, I was proven wrong. The blood that runs though the blue and green lines in my body comes to a halt. The room sways in circular motions. The tears I tried so strongly to hold fall out of my eyes like a harsh waterfall.

At this moment I make no attempt to wipe them away, whats the point? Their lips don't seperate from the passionate, heartfelt kiss. I give myself credit, I thought I would have ran out by now, but I proved myself wrong once again. His pale lips move along her heavily made up ones. The once Astoria Greengrass is now Astoria Malfoy, the only woman Draco has ever loved in his life.

They both simultaneously pull away and the crowd breaks into a harmony of claps. A few howls were made from Blaise Zabini and Greogory Goyle. Some woman that I either don't know or remember break into tears, wonderful I could just lie and say I cried of overly blown happiness. Sure enough he would believe me, I'm a Slytherin, I was trained to be a talented liar. Something I didn't plan on taking from being a Slytherin was falling in love with my fellow Slytherin colleague, Draco Malfoy.

To my utter astonishment he has the will to break his silver eyes away from her. What caused more bemusement in me was the fact that he left his gaze from her to me. I know he can see the tears so I just lightly shrug and force out a smirk of congrats. He smirks back, but I can see the happiness in his handsome features. It is now boisterous in the room which in return causes my temples to feel like needles are being ruthfully stabbed at each delicate side, I want to leave but the after celebration is just beginning.

Every individual in the room has one expression plastered on their beaming faces and it is blissfulness, a feeling I am now unfamiliar with. She detaches away from him, most likely so she can change into a different, expensive dress he bought her, he unwillingly lets her go. Draco is greeted by a swarm of people. I walk over to the refreshments with my chin held high. I shake away the feeling of anguish and I put on the mask of prideful cockiness.

A mask many Slytherin's wear to camouflage their true feelings. My fingers grasp onto a goblet of champagne and I drink it like clear water. I drink so I could forget everything, forget that I have a best friend named Drace, forget that I fell in love with him, forget that I still love him, forget that he loves Astoria, forget that she loves him back, and forget the fact that they are now married and will be spending time in each others arms forever. The liquor sends a shallow burn throughout my throat but it is nothing compared to what my heart is feeling.

"didn't your mum ever tell you its rude not to share?" I can't help but smile for I know its his voice.

"obviously not." I say those two simple forms of vocabulary with the most steady voice I can conjure. He rests a hand on my elbow and I feel my skin transform into petite pebbles.

"everything alright Parkinson?" I wanted to scream at him and tell him the bloody truth, tell him everything wasn't alright, nothing was alright anymore ever since he started dating her. Two months out of the war she already managed to snag his heart, he barely even knew her and the same went for Astoria. The thought aggravated me so much, but we knew each other before we could even speak intellectual words, I knew him so well, he's my best friend for Merlin's sake! I care for him so much that I sacrficed my own feelings just so he could be happy, even if it left me to be forever devestated. I cocked one eyebrow up and separated my lips from the glass.

"of course, why do you ask? I tried to keep the usual obvious tone in my voice, but I couldn't hear it.

"well for one you were crying, two your drinking all the bloody alcohol on the table, and three your wearing black to my wedding, its like your dressed for a funeral." I am and its mine, said a little voice in my head. I playfully laugh before speaking.

"I was crying because I was overwhelmed with happiness for you and Astoria, I drink to celebrate, and black...just to change things up a bit." If you listen closely you could detect the lying seething through. He shot me a non convinced look with those piercing grey eyes so I looked away and settled back onto another glass of wine. As I was going to take another sip of the liquid he reached out and grabbed the goblet.

"hey." I whined as my brows furrowed to which he rolled his eyes to.

"you've had enough." Yes I have, enough of this horrid pain, enough of resisting the urge to tell you the truth because if you ever found out I knew you could never return the feelings. My mind speaks on its own, something I'm not too pleased with. The music turns into a diiferent tune now, it is a mix of a harmonica with a hint of piano. The corner of his nude lip quirked up and I already knew what he was thinking. I didn't even get the chance to have my say for he was already dragging me to the dance floor.

No matter how hard I clenched my fist he still managed to open them, he propped one of my hands on his shoulder while the other was intertwined with his. I knew I would regret doing this to myself but I had all the time to regret later, what mattered now was the limited time I had left with him. His eyes were soft now as he looked into mine.

"woudn't your wife get jealous if she saw us like this?" I teased even though I still wanted to hear the honest answer. He shook his head then smirked, the smirk that I was so use to seeing everday of my life at Hogwarts.

"she knows how I care for you, besides she's mature Parkinson unlike you." Even though he was kidding each word hurt me like a dagger that would claw its way into your skin. What hurt the most was the comparison, I felt the tears boil up again.

"why are you crying?" I didn't even feel the moisture for I had cried so many times that I didn't even realize if the tears would be falling or not. I regained my composure and forced out a full smirk.

"because I'm so happy for you." Again I lied with the most cheerful, natural voice I could conjure. I wanted to be happy for him because whenever he would be ecstatic I would be as well, but when it came to this I abruptly failed.

"you should consider yourself lucky that you were invited to a Malfoy's wedding." I rolled my eyes at this, he always took pride in his last name, another thing I admired about him. I stayed quiet as I savored the moment, it resembled well to the Yule Ball, except now I fully appreciate dancing with him. I am not the fifteen year old that thought she would have a chance, now I am a full grown woman that is twenty-two years of age that would never get a chance. I just have to accpet it.

"I consider myslef lucky because I became best friends with a Malfoy." To this statement he smiled, not the romantic smile he would always share to Astoria but the smile that said he felt the same way.

"so when you have your wedding I will be expecting an invitation." He heartily joked but I snorted at this.

"your never going to receive one because I Pansy Parkinson am to good for anyone." He rolled his eyes and I just smirked in return. The truth was that he was never going to receive one because I could never force myself to love anyone the way I loved him.

"mind if I cut in." Said that familiar voice that made my blood splatter with rage. The voice that made me want to pluck every single piece of hair my scalp owned. The voice that would remind me every time as to why Draco and I weren't together. The voice I would give anything and everything to have.

The voice of Astoria Malfoy. He parted from me first, as expected. She rested an arm across his waist, which made me flinch. I nodded in approval at the pair and he graciously picked up both of her hands and formed them into the previous position as to I was once held in.

I apparaited early to which Draco wasn't to pleased with but his 'lovely' wife seemed to have no issue with it. I tightened the rose pink night robes around my body. I was tired and in no mood to do anything else so I headed off to the sheets of cream. I let them cover half of my body while the other half was out in the open. My mind was busy with thoughts, as busy as Diagon Alley would be.

My thoughts were about Weasel bee and Granger and their beautiful child, their lives were no where as luxurious and as extravagant as mine, but what did that matter? They had each other, they were both sincere and obviously in love, the way he would look at her and the way she would return it, and their child had just further symbolized it. For the first time in my life I truly envied Weasley and Granger. What I would give to have a happy family of my own with the man I loved. I closed my eyes in hopes to fall into a deep slumber but strangely I wasn't sleepy, I was tired but not sleepy.

Deciding it would be a waste of time to just lay awake in bed again I headed off to my balcony. The view was amazing and full of nature, from the rugged mountains with hues of purple and blue, to the fresh green wildlife. The breeze moved along my face and made my hair subtly dance with it. The sky was a dull, dark, saphire, it was probably already midnight. I inhaled the fresh air, and my body felt instantly cleansed, as if I hadn't been breathing in forever.

I thought about Draco and the events that we spent together, everything played like a scrapbook in my mind. The time when I threw chocolate cake onto his collared shirt, it was his fifth birthday. The one afternoon when I finally beat him at a game of wizard chess. Our first time entering Hogwarts, I still remember purposely tripping on the moving stairs just to bump into him. During second year, his first Quidditch game, I was in the third row and was endlessly cheering him on.

When I visited him at the hospital wing for he had gotten a nasty injury on his arm, I brought him an entire basket of green apples, to which he clearly enjoyed. When he asked me to the Yule Ball, I threw up on Millicent right after I accepted. During fifth year, we were in the common room when a bunch of buggered face second years called me pug face, Draco defended me and to my surprise he let me cry on his shoulder. When Potter casted that blasted spell on him and he was sent to the hospital again, I bribed a fourth year from Gryffindor to sneak into his dormitory and steal his invisible cloak. I managed to earn a detention so I had to sneak in at night, the look on his face was priceless when he thought that I was Potter, I stayed with him all night.

Finally, during the War when he told me that my loyalties should be through the light instead. I slept with a rained on pillow as usual. I cried because I knew that I could never love anyone else the way I loved him. I cried because he loves somebody else and is incredibly happy with her. I cried because I know that their love would blossom into a child to which I would be granted as the Godmother. I cried because my best friend could never love me in the way I loved him.


End file.
